Some movie critics actually watch the movie before voicing their opinion. The BaconKnight just watches the trailer. First impressions are everything.
I can’t tell you how many nights I just layed in bed pondering who would win in a fight. A pack of ravenous wolves or Qui Gon Jinn? Well luckily for me my restless nights are over because Hollywood has answered that very question for me.
To help feed our countries oil addiction, a group of roughnecks abandoned their families to dig in the snow for some of that Texas tea. Although these guys are roughnecks they still aren’t man enough to protect themselves and that’s where Neeson comes in. He runs security for the oil rig which means he spends his days shooting at stray dogs and slapping members of the Sierra Club.
The crew very excitedly loads up on a plane to take them back to civilization where they can get some cheeseburgers and tang but they never make it. The plane crashes in the harsh arctic of the Alaskan winter land and not even Sarah Palin can save them. At first the survivors are all like, “Man this sucks but at least there aren’t any wolves.” Then a bunch of wolves show up and they’re all like, “Oh hells no!”
Now the small group of survivors must fight their way through injuries, below zero temperatures, and a maze of wolf teeth if they every want to see their families again and it looks from the trailer that most or all of them except Liam Neeson are going to die a horrible death by chewing.
This movie takes the concept of two of my favorite TV shows, Survivor Man and When Animals Attack, and throws them together. Up until this point the only movie I can really think of that did just that was The Edge and to this day it still pains me to admit I love a movie that stars Alec Baldwin.
Every time I watch this trailer I get pumped for this man vs. beast showdown. If this movie would have come out a few years ago I don’t think I would have been as pumped. Sure I’ve always liked Liam Neeson but I never really thought of him as a “tough as nails fight a goddamn wolf with my bare hands” kind of guy but then in 2009 Taken came out and I was blown away. Now I think Liam Neeson is the perfect pick to take down the whole wolf pack with nothing more than some tiny liquor bottles broken between his fingers.
If you have one once of testosterone in your body you need to see this movie and after watching it you’ll come out of the theater with the know-how and the desire to kill dangerous animals and prove to everyone that you’re a real man.
I give The Grey a Preview Review of 5 out of 5 Rascals.
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Did you miss the BaconKnight’s preview review of Underworld: Awakening? See it here
